The Importance of Starting Off Your Day Right
I frequently talk about how I start the day and for me, it’s at 4 AM, no matter what. To take care of my kids to the best of my ability during the day while ensuring I’m accomplishing all my daily goals, I need to start my day early and on the right foot. And not just my right foot, but also my left, as I always start it with a run, no matter the weather, no matter what time I went to bed the night before, and no matter what reasons my mind comes up with to convince me otherwise.
Why do I start this way?
Because it proves to me that I can overcome something uncomfortable right off the bat. It sets the tone for my mindset for the rest of the day. I can say that no matter what, no matter how tough the day becomes, I got up and did that run and I can’t say I’ve ever regretted doing so.
4 AM works for me, but it may not work for all parents. You must consider what time your kids wake up, and what you need to do to prepare for them. What age are they, their current parental dependency? What are your current goals, and your tasks at hand? Importantly, your obligations as a spouse? Are you taking care of the kids all day, or do you have help? Fortunately, if you’ve been in the trenches with kids for even a month now, you have a decent enough idea of their needs and how to meet them, regardless of how exhausting they may already be.
Starting at 4 AM typically guarantees me two hours to focus on my needs, from 4-6 AM, and an hour to focus on my wife’s needs and start preparing breakfast for everyone. I focus on my wife’s needs by listening to her over a cup of coffee. I listen to everything she has to say, her thoughts, questions, concerns, desires, and troubles. I consider it all and respond genuinely and with love. For if I’m not addressing what’s on her mind and being there for her, then all of this is for naught.
I also like the 4 AM start as it’s a great time to run in general. I rarely come across another soul. It’s always dark out, limiting me to only what’s 6 feet ahead, thereby liberating me from the world and casting me into the depths of my thoughts. The colder months add another element. Especially in New England. Especially when the temperature drops to the single digits, the wind picks up, and the ground becomes a frozen landscape of hidden slippery traps.
I rarely wear headphones during my runs as the sounds and words that enter my mind through them become a sort of haze that overcasts the rest of the day. They don’t let my mind wander, as my body does while running through the darkness. I believe it’s one of the most natural forms of meditation, early morning running. You find yourself in a world all alone, uncomfortable, yet moving forward, towards something, and you might have a chance to tangle with it. These runs prime me for the next portion of my morning. My writing, my journaling, and my editing.
Ideally, it’s now around 5 AM, I’ve recovered from my run, cleaned up, and finished the pour of my French press coffee. My wife is also making her way through her morning routine, with an expectation of her joining me by the fire over coffee shortly. I take a sip of that magical beverage, whip out my pen, and open my journal. Although the words were flowing like raging rivers in my mind during the run, they almost always need a moment to reawaken. So, I sit there, staring at the fire, whether it’s the gaseous one in my house or on the horizon, and let myself go again.
Before I know it, I start writing. It’s never the same and I don’t expect it ever will be, but that’s the point. To get it all out of my head and permanently on paper. Then I can start finally working through things, whether on life, my venture ideas, this blog, my family, or the future. This act of writing following my run is the ultimate priming for the day ahead. Not only have I aired out some of the things on my mind that came up during my run or that I’ve left unaddressed throughout my life, but also, I’ve most likely begun chipping away at the ice sculpture that is my afternoon writing session, where the idea of this post originated from, back on the morning of October 14th, 2022.
At some point, and not always well defined, I switch over to editing whatever the most recent blog post I’ve been working on. I find it best to do this type of technical work in the early morning while my mind is still fresh and sharp. Ideally, it also allows me to finalize a draft blog to post later in the day.
The writing and editing tend to come to a natural end, usually as the conversation begins picking up with Christina. Our talks go off on tangents just like my mind while running, and my words while writing. We verbally work through the day ahead and many times, the days ahead as well. We’re a team, united on raising our family as well and as best as we can. This act of listening and communicating with each other sets our expectations for the day and each other. It makes us aware of the other. It makes us accountable. It primes us for tackling the beast of raising multiple young kids, while her working full time, us keeping our house [and life] in order, meeting external obligations, maintaining everyone’s wellness, and most importantly, making sure we are living a happy life, the life we want to live. And if we aren’t achieving any of these items, this is where we work it out. Every morning. Together. Over a cup of coffee. Looking at the fire during the colder months, and the sunrise during the warmer months.
And then the day starts. We get up from our chairs, armed with our early AM accomplishments and knowledge that we have already overcome some resistance, and begin getting ready for the kids. The real reason I get up at 4 AM now – our children. So I can be the best version of myself for them. My life is not just about me anymore, it’s all about them. And I do that by starting my day by running, writing, and listening. And then I make eggs for breakfast. A lot of them at that.
