A Parent’s Reflection on Mortality
This morning I spent some time reflecting on my mortality as a parent. It was a powerful and emotional experience, one that caused me to cry at times. After reading a blog about a father and his wife leaving the home where they raised their children, I couldn’t help but imagine myself decades from now with my children most likely living away from home as well.
Thinking about Madison. My sweet little innocent girl. Just so crazy and silly and beautiful. How I want to live in these moments forever with her. Hearing her shrieks of daddy when she hasn’t seen me for even an hour. The way she comes in to hug you but, just as you think it’s going to be a hug, she turns around and presses her back into you instead, then darts away as fast as possible. The constant, insistent screaming, crying, yelling, laughing, demanding, questioning, and singing that fills the days with her and Hudson. How much I miss it when they are sound asleep but can’t wait for it to quiet down when they are in the middle of it.
When I look at or even think about Madison, I can’t help but consider my mortality as a parent. How fleeting it will be in the grand scheme of things, but how full she will make it. How painful it will be the day she moves on to start her own life, leaving me in the wake of all the memories.
The confrontation with my mortality as a parent reminds me that I must fiercely protect these moments, this period of my life. I must learn to live in the present because if not, in a flash of an eye, it will just fly by.
